The truth about mental and emotional illness

Open admission - I am not a medical professional and have no official training in medical, emotional, or mental health.
Second open admission - I have an anxiety disorder.
And the third - I have a teenage son with multiple symptoms which may be multiple disorders or Aspergers Syndrome, or Aspergers syndrome with other disorders all mixed together.

We've had my son in for some initial counseling followed by an attempt to diagnose the problems. The battery of tests came back with mixed results. All of his symptoms fit into the Autism Spectrum, more specifically Aspergers Syndrome. However it was the educated opinion of the doctor leading the diagnostic team, that my son has multiple disorders each with it's own issues.

So we start a search for a doctor qualified to treat adolescent autism spectrum disorders. (You see, any doctor qualified to treat his multiple symptoms was very likely to be specialized in autism spectrum anyway. So we decided to make sure the doctor was qualified either way). We found a wonderful doctor practicing one day a week with a group devoted to biblical foundations (a plus for us since we believe faith is a significant part of the person)
She seemed to be getting off to a good start when the bad news came. She had been given a chance to spend all of her time helping smaller schools with their developmentally disabled children. She had been spending the other 4 days a week with them already. The way I understand it is that these schools could not afford quality help for their special needs children and her work there was, and is, very special to her. So I don't fault her for the decision she made but we were still disappointed at losing such a fantastic doctor for our son.

So now we're back at Children's Hospital trying to find some help to locate another qualified physician/therapist for our son. After some mis-communications and extended waits in an under served portion of our healthcare system we were finally scheduled for a first visit with a doctor that also seemed a very good match. He is not an MD however he is eminently qualified and has a nice laid back personality that will not intimidate our son who is already hard to communicate with. The process of getting treatment started is extremely long. The timing from the very beginning to initial treatment was over a year and a half. Then another 4 months when we needed to transition to a new doctor.
One of my sons coping mechanisms is to play with modeling clay - non stop. This helps him work out nervous energy and was discovered by a wonderful art teacher. So we have been blessed with some great people helping him in his life, most of them through the school system since social situations are difficult for him (that keeps him from doing hardly a thing other than school and sitting at home)

Today I had a fight with him over starting his homework. I can hear a lot of you saying "Been there, done that." as well as seeing the heads nodding. Well, most of you cannot imagine the pain that followed. Long story short, I had to give him a punishment for his refusal to cooperate or communicate. You see, his condition causes great difficulty for him to communicate or express his feelings or emotions. Even so, we do not allow him to completely refuse to acknowledge a request, order, question - another person talking to him. As hard as it may be he has to at least tell us that he can't talk about it right now. The full details are not to the point of this post but the end result was me taking his modeling clay away from him. This was not pleasant nor easy.

As I struggled to get the clay away from him I started to get my own mental images. I started to see TV shows depicting police officers and other authorities trying to get some information out of a homeless person and that person simply making gestures of head shakes and other "I don't know" postures while avoiding eye contact the whole time. I see the authority person, not understanding, getting frustrated and becoming angry, possibly even physical with the person. And I see my son in that scene. And it frightens me something terrible.

You see, I cannot understand his inability to communicate with others but I do understand not being able to control ones own feelings. I have no idea why I have anxiety attacks. I don't understand why the totally improbable, nearly impossible, cause me to have moments or hours of fear. However, I have been able to learn how to manage it, how to cope and to other people I interact with, to seem totally "normal". My son has not.

The truth about mental illness. The truth is that nobody suffering from a mental disorder -wants- to be that way. A few may fake some symptoms and a few others may take advantage of mild symptoms but not a single person chooses to have the problems caused by their disorder.
There are more truths - When someone thinks they're being funny by poking fun at challenged persons - it hurts us too. And we're all around you. I've been amazed at the number of people who were willing to confide their emotional/mental condition after I've been open about mine.

In the end, there is help. There are people who are at the very least sympathetic and/or empathetic even if they can't understand your exact situation. We've all got out own problems and we will all get along a little better if we slow down judgement of others that may not seem "normal". The longer I live the more I think that normal doesn't exist, it's merely a state of being that we define as an excuse to feel better or worse about ourselves. We each have a place that God wants us to be and the sooner we accept that we are all different, the sooner we can be effective at what God has trusted to our hands, minds, and hearts.

If this has touched you please take a moment to leave a comment - even an anonymous one saying "I -try- to understand." for that is all I am hoping to bring from this rather long missive, a willingness to try because some people just aren't wired that way.

As one my of doctors said at the end of each appointment- "Be well."

A chuckle with a serious note...

There's an old sea story in the Navy about a ship's Captain who inspected His sailors, and afterward told the Chief Boson that his men smelled bad.

The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally.

The Chief responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!

The Chief went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear. Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Kwiatkowski, and Brown you change with Schultz. Now get to it!!"

THE MORAL: Someone may be promising "Change," but don't count on things smelling any better!


A large corporation that I used to do a lot of business with has an unwritten rule of management that goes "When you take on a new assignment you must change something."
If you don't change something you will not get credit for any successes. Why? Because it was your predecessor that put the organization in place for you. On the other hand, if something goes poorly it must be your fault because it was fine before you managed it! However, if you do make a change then any successes can be claimed as yours due to the change you made. If something fails, well at least you tried.
I personally find this amusing in a corporate setting but quite unsettling in the larger view of government and society. I think we all would agree that things could be better in the US health care system and being good to the environment is never a bad thing. But.... and this is a big one, changing these things without looking at all views is both dangerous and irresponsible. We would not be affecting one group, department, division, or company. We would ruin an entire country. And once people become reliant upon the government for something it is very hard and very expensive to break that reliance.

I currently am planning on spending Wednesday evening August 26th trying to get my elected official to the house of representatives to notice my opinions - please don't mortgage my great-grandchildren's future on another set of government boondoggles. Let's find more cautious ways of moving forward lest we lose so much of what 10 or more generations have worked to build up.

The US economy, health care, and power grabs

So many have written about the major debates in the US Legislative branch of the federal government and some folks are fed with hearing about it. We can't quiet down however because what happens in the next few months will have repercussions for generations to come.

Fact - the federal government passed a massive "stimulus package" to prod the economy at a cost of over $800 billion. After it failed to pass at a cost of $700 billion (estimated) the dealing started and many representatives were swung over when pork was added that benefited their constituency. Why is this important? It tells me that about 25% of the US Congress did -not- believe in the legislation but were willing to sell their votes. The record of voting can be checked at http://projects.washingtonpost.com/congress/
So far the economy has fallen faster and further than predicted "if we do not pass this critical spending bill" (Barrack Obama - February 2009)
I am sorry to report that my elected representative to the House did not listen to the tens of thousands of calls to vote no and moved forward in support of one of the most reckless pieces if legislation in the history of this nation. He also sits in the camp of elected officials who is avoiding actually getting in front of his constituents during the August break.

Fact - the current bill in the US House of Representatives has so many places with language, I believe left ambiguous on purpose, to be argued, abused, or further refined to make government the final authority on all things healthcare. Find the bill here: http://edlabor.house.gov/documents/111/pdf/publications/AAHCA-BillText-071409.pdf Read a break down of the biggest problem sections here: http://theconservativecomeback.blogspot.com/2009/07/what-is-in-health-care-bill.html

I do not trust a piece of legislation that takes days to map out (due to most of the bill being referenced changes to other legislation rather than being a simple stand alone bill)
From page 30 -
SEC. 123. HEALTH BENEFITS ADVISORY COMMITTEE.
(a) ESTABLISHMENT.—
(1) IN GENERAL.—There is established a private-public advisory committee which shall be a
panel of medical and other experts to be known as the Health Benefits Advisory Committee to recommend covered benefits and essential, enhanced, and premium plans.

Could this mean that the government gets to pick what medical procedures are covered for you? It certainly seems more than possible to me. We've all seen the abuses of power on lesser issues, what's to stop abuses with so much money on the line?

I won't pretend to completely understand this section from page 239 but this single line scares me to death - it brings to mind one of the great lies "I am from the government and I am here to help you."
(d) ESTABLISHMENT OF SEPARATE TARGET GROWTH RATES FOR CATEGORIES OF SERVICES.—

One couldn't make up language much more frightening. Sounds like they're setting up the framework for rationing services based upon what they establish as "rates of services per covered patients" (the language is mine but it's just a fancy way of saying "You only did 1 tonsillectomy last year with 950 patients so you can only do one per 950 patients next year. Nevermind that health problems do not care about statistics or that the bills language leaves too much room for the quota to be lowered if the Doctor doesn't do any of a particular procedure in a year - "No soup for you" extends from Seinfeld to your health care.

I've rambled enough - if you're still not decided read the list of questionable sections and read the language in the bill yourself, I don't think you'll be undecided much longer.

In closing - any veteran is a hero to me. This one is more so after watching his YouTube posting several times, see it for yourself - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rRE5UK6NQU

My first musings

I have so many topics floating around in my head that I realized a need for some order to the spiderweb of ideas, theories, and observations. Part of this was driven by the great desire to call attention to some thoughts weighing heavily on my mind.

Consider this a bookmark for thoughts to come including -
Corporate ethics - or lack thereof
Government responsibilities - and the limits of those responsibilities
Christianity - I cannot blog without at least occasionally writing about my Lord and Savior. It's not a religion, it's a relationship of love and indebtedness.
The environment - where people are freaking out with insufficient information and where the world society is being flat out lazy.
Baseball - I love the sport as a fan, backyard player, coach, and umpire.
Cars and Motorcycles - I love to drive, ride, and maintain vehicles.
Information Technology - I am a Systems Administrator / Engineer by trade as well as by passion.

Look for more to come soon although soon is certainly relative! I have a busy week including evening commitments but plan on making my first sizable post within the week.

Thanks for following me this far!